Tuesday.   Mme. L'Obscurier in peevish mood all day - the cook has resigned.

There have been Bolshevik noises from the kitchen ever since I started sending down sketches for Proposed Contemporary Suppers.

"The last straw" was apparently my blueprint for an International Pie.

I envisioned a simple pie raised on equidistant reinforced potato stilts, its open-plan filling enabled by structurally independent pastry. Large, horizontal "windows" are incised with a pastry hawk. There is a roof garden of broccoli florets and miniature abstract carrot art.

But - no. Of course, we must have instead irregular chops, themeless ratatouille, and tantrums.