29th november 2006
another historico-literary breakthrough

I'll give it to you straight, no shilly-shallying: the plays of Christopher Marlowe were in fact written by Francis Bacon (all that stuff about Shakespeare has just been a red herring all along). Ah, now you want proof? Well, listen.

Marlowe was of course murdered in mysterious circumstances. No, that's not nearly good enough, is it. Alright, I'll cut to the chase and give you the quotes. In Bacon's cipher manuscripts we find this:

I’ll teach you how to make the water-mount,
That you may dry-foot march through lakes and pools,
Deep rivers, havens, creeks and little seas,
And make a fortress in the raging waves,
Fenced with the concave of a monstrous rock,
Invincible by nature of the place.
And I will teach you how to charge your foe,
And harmless run along their pikes.

- Bacon, The Spanish Armada

and now let's head across to Kit:

Tamb. (to Celebinus) Well done, my boy! Thou shalt have shield and lance,
Armour of proof, horse, helm and curtle-axe.
And I will teach thee how to charge thy foe
And harmless run among the deadly pikes.

- Marlowe, Tamburlaine the Great Pt II, Act I Sc.3

Do you want any more? Er, that's it so far.